Impulsive travelling is like making love..

The mental foreplay you engage in isn't it. The plans and devices you take to bed aren't it. The memories and stories you take away with you aren't it either. It is the unmediated piece of time that you and somebody are united in a moment of mutual experience (or, in the case of travel, you and somewhere). It is when your mind is in the present and you're not thinking of anyone or anywhere other than the one or where you're with. Having some of it when you travel is quite fulfilling and relieves a lot of tension.

Prime your impulsiveness. Leave gaps in your grand plan. Make yourself aware of alternatives, but don't select one until the moment arrives. Your true path cannot be found in a guidebook or in the recommendations of others. It can only be found by your wandering feet as they lead you down the path that just feels right. It's a path that's waiting for you, but you won't recognise it until it stretches away before your eyes.

You absolutely cannot see everything - so see your thing instead. And unless you are truly prescient, remember that you'll be discovering much about what 'your thing' is as you go.

Trust yourself, trust your impulses, and find your road to discovery..

I'm back..for now..

Realised my last entry was almost 2 weeks ago..think it was the longest gap eversince i started this blog..

Reason #1 : PC died on me : (

Reason #2 : Was out of town for most of last week..

K..shan't spend too much on time here..need to backup some stuff..since my pc is still on a life-supporting system..may give up on me anytime..

P.S. Anyway..as a clue to my movements for the past 2 weeks, u can check out my first cover page(!) at www.focusadventure.com

This entry is adult-theme..

literally).

Was catching up with ex classmates over the CNY..& once again, we were reminiscing about the good ole days..& complaining how CNY can turn otherwise pleasant aunties into pesky, nose-poking female beings..'So when's ur turn to give ang paos? Where're u working at now? Wah..getting prettier by the year' Okok, i confess..i've never been on the receiving end of the third remark before..sincere or not..but tat's besides the point..the point is..they make the same comments year after year after year after........

I'm digressing..i wanted to blog about being an adult..not about when i'm getting married(tat's already been discussed over the many late nite suppers with ex-colleagues recently)..

As the class monitor remarked, rather nonchalantly i must add, she's been telling people she's..gasp, 30 already(more convenient to round up wor) It's quite unexpected as i thought most pple would understate, & not overstate their age..i admit, 30 is still an alien figure to me..it seems not too long ago tat i was still in the early 20s..& starting from this year, i cant even 'round down' to 25 anymore..

A quick count over yet-another-supper last nite revealed tat there're no less than 5 people in the ssc clique hitting 30 this year..but seriously, i would never have looked at them as '30 years old adult'..Looks-wise? definitely way younger(twink has single-handledly brought down the average appearance of the ssc folks by at least 5 years) Behaviour-wise? just see them go wild during..err..actually, they dun even need an occasion to go wild..^o^

I remembered when i was still a student(as opposed to an adult now), i used to think people in the 20s & 30s seem so..well, 'adult'..& now tat i'm well into the 20s and approaching 30s..dun think i'm even anywhere near the 'matured adult' stage..there were certain thinkings tat i had thought would change when i 'grow up' but as one cosy chitchat session somewhere up in the mountains recently revealed..there're not many things in the past i would have done differently today..tat's not to say i'm (still) a childish geena..but i cannnot imagine myself proclaiming to be a 'full adult' without having my hair stand on end..*wo bu xiang wo bu xiang wo bu xiang zhang da..*

I'll end off with extracts from an article in Life! today :

'I am who i am - the collection of my experiences mixed in with the woman i want to be in the future. I know that i might not be able to change or fix the things i don't like about me, but i've lived long enough to know i find ways to deal with them, eventually. I've come to accept that i don't have to fight to get to where i want to be, that i'm already on my way there, warts and all. And there's a kind of grace in knowing that, i think. Maybe that's what being a grown-up is all about - accepting who and what you are, and then moving on with you life from there..'

I have a Phobia..

..been talking to some people recently..& i realised i really do have a phobia of commitment..& a serious case at tat..

As mentioned in my previous blog..being 20something is a period of uncertainty..where decisions u make today might shape your life for the next ? years..and being the commitment phobic i am, i usually cannot foresee anything beyond 1 year..to me, short term means weeks..and months, long term..my favourite unit of time? 'when the time comes'

I think one main reason why i kept procrastinating about making important decisions is cos of this phobia ..some of u might already know this..in fact, i think it's rather apparent from the fact tat i shy away from anything tat requires on-going commitment(insurance) or contracts of any kind(my mobile line has been contract-free for the past 6 years)

While i dare not say i have my future all mapped out..i do have some agar plans for..well..'the next few mths..'

Thanks to all my dear frens who have been supporting me all this while..i foresee tough times ahead & i hope you'll be there for me as u'd always been..

Me & My Yu yuan mian

Previous few blogs border on the more somber tone..shall talk about something more light-hearted in this blog..

One of my fave things-to-do is to go eat my fave yu yuan mian at my fave stall at bt merah..been eating at this stall for the past 12, 13 years? Couldn't rem exactly when i started patronising this particular stall..but i know for sure, by the time i was in sec 4, the lady chef already knew my usual order liao..so i reckoned i must have started eating there around sec 3..? Do the maths..& u can figure out my age..?! *.*

The reason why i call the main cook lady chef is cos she didn't seem older than mid-20s when i was first a customer still in my pimply teens..& her parents are usually around to help serve the noodles so it didn't seem so right to call her 'auntie'..since i'd usually say 'xie xie auntie' when her mother brings my yu yuan mian to me..

After all these years, she still doesn't really look old enuf to be called an 'auntie'..so i'd just call her 'xiao jie'..not tat i had to address her much..these days i can stroll towards the stall & simply signal to her with one finger(index lah..did u really think i was going to say the middle finger?)..meaning '1 bowl of the usual' & she'd simply nod to acknowledge my order..no words exchanged at all..

The amazing thing is i dun exactly eat there tat often nowadays..it was sort of on the way home when i was still in sec sch & jc..add a couple of frens staying in bt merah..u would find me there at least once every week or so back in those days..when i started life in uni & then work..my visits became less regular but i still made efforts to eat there whenever i can..

Over the years, i've brought frens to eat at the stall..reviews were mixed..from 'so-so lor' to 'ok lah' to 'not bad leh'..i rem mentioning to someone before..it's ok if u dun think it's as nice as i feel..'cong xiao chi dao da de dong xi shi bu yi yang de' In fact, i'm more than happy going to the hawker centre on my own..cos then i wouldn't have to 'compromise' on where to sit..

Despite having been to the hawker centre N times in my life..i still find it a challenge to recommend good stalls to frens..simply cos of the fact tat i seldom eat at any other stalls..i vaguely knew wat other stalls exist & i think there are at least 2 other yu yuan mian stalls in the hawker centre & 2 other similar stalls within a 400m radius..but i really have no idea wat they taste like..i remember vividly i had gone there on one afternoon many saturdays ago when i was feeling down..& to my sorrow(yes, it was tat catastrophic to me at tat time), it was not opened! i was so upset i left the place without eating anything & went hungry for the rest of the afternoon..

And now, as a quarter-lifer..this yu yuan mian serves as a comfort food for me..in fact, it was one of the first place i went when i came back from uk..the lady chef could still recognise me despite my no-show for half a year & my new found status as xiao pang..if this is not customer service, i dunno wat is!

Had gone there again this afternoon..& despite watever gastric pains and headache i was battling..i managed to scoff the whole bowl of yu yuan mian..& feeling so good after tat :)

You see..some of the best things in life are really free..or at least they dun have to cost more than a bowl of yu yuan mian : )

P.S. Just to share a little secret..there was a period of time when she used to serve mushrooms together with the mian..& surprise surprise, i'd just eat them up all ^o^

K O

I CMI liao..falling ill..there's no mistaking it..all the telltale signs are here :

I have no appetite (coming from someone who's on a 2hrs-feed)
I shivered during a hot shower (it's a well-known fact tat i'm cold-blooded)
I thought i saw the floor spin a couple of times (no, i wasn't trying to lance)
I am typing away on my pc despite nursing a temp (one tends to be more irrational when sick)

I should really go catch up with my ah gong tonight..haven seen much of him over the past week or so..

Till i've recovered..happy new year!

¼ life crisis

It's CNY..happy times for many..

..which also means the dateline i set for myself is approaching..

I had been telling pple ever since i came back from UK tat i'll decide by CNY if i'm going back at all.. in the past 2 weeks or so..i did make some decisions..professional life..personal life..many many thoughts have ran thru my mind recently..need somemore time to sort them out..& it just so happened tat there was an article about quarterlife crisis in the papers yest..shall take the lazy way out again..

Help, I'm 25 going on 13 (ok, so i'm not 25..but hey, it's just the article title)

'..According to Wikipedia, the term 'quarterlife crisis' was first coined around 1998 and it usually occurs shortly after a young person begins his or her professional life. Symptoms include insecurity about the near future and present accomplishments, a confusion about one's identity, and a nostalgia for the not-so-distant past..this period in one's life is a significant and often traumatic transition to adulthood..it also feels like a period when all the protective buffers tat the guardian angels in your life put up to protect you start to crumble..'

On the brighter side, it was also mentioned in the article tat '..In any case, those afflicted by the quarterlife crisis should probably enjoy it while it lasts. Afterall, being a 20something doesn't last forever, and there are certain advantages to this particular age-specific predicament..While the uncertainty of this phase of life can be bewildering, this unmapped terrain of life still in flux can also be exhilarating, with all manners of dreams still seemingly possible, if only because they remain, for the time being, not yet attempted..'

My fave line in the article? 'Happiness is about the fight for ideals, not about getting what you want'

And as for me, I'm glad i fought for mine..