150

That's Dunbar's number..

It refers to the 'theoretical cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships'..Do i even have 150 friends or aquaintances?? According to my facebook..no - i only have 120 friends..but this is the average number of friends one has on facebook, according to Professor Dunbar(yes, the guy who came up with Dunbar's number)

In the first place, i don't think i make friends easily..by that, i mean..really make friends. You know, by bothering to just..keep in touch..While i don't think i'm 'unfriendly'(of cos some people might protest), i can be quite picky with whom i really want to friends with(rather than just aquaintances) and i guess i'm rather 'private' at times..somebody once commented 'you talk a lot, but you tell very little' - not sure if this is good or bad?

A research was done(by Prof Dunbar of cos) and he determined that we devote 40% of our limited social time each week to the five most important people we know, who represent just 3% of our social world..hmm 5 most important people..not sure if i can name them..or even have them in the first place..will it be the people i see most often? or the first people i think of when i have something to tell? or the people whom i msn with every day?

He also mentioned that 'our minds are simply not designed to allow us to have more than a very limited number of people in our social world..the emotional and psychological investments that a close relationship requires are considerable, and the emotional capital we have is limited. Since the time invested in a relationship determines its quality, having more than five best friends is impossible when we interact face to face, one person at a time'

Hmm..best friend? I haven't had a best friend since..primary school?! I know of some friends who will tell you so-and-so is her BFF without any hesitation..but my mind is usually a blank when someone pose me this qn 'So who is your best friend?' Then they'll start prompting me..'What about A? or B? then C?' Mostly i'll just say 'er..good friend lor' Best friend sounds like there's only 1..ranked first..and i just find it weird or even difficult to do so..

There was this once, somebody told me 'you're one of the top 5 most important people to me(maybe Prof Dunbar is right afterall) and you're currently ranked 3rd' Instead of being pleased or touched, I was, in fact, quite disturbed by that statement..and i told her 'you don't have to tell me what my ranking is..but if i ever fall out of this top 5, let me know' This happened some 6 or 7 years ago? Either my friend forgot i ever said that..or i'm still in 'top 5'

Speaking of which, in this new year, i resolve to treat new friends better and annoy them less..or risk seeing more chocolate-turning-black faces..