WDs

Nope..sorry to disappoint..i'm not announcing my Wedding Dinner..Though i already have a willing emcee-volunteer - Wei..we've agreed to emcee at each other's wedding...whose will happen first..i guess your guess is as good as mine?!

Is yearend the season of WDs? Even i-who-have-few-frens-who-marry have to attend 3 WDs in a month..of cos, this is still nothing as compared to OYB-who-has-13-WDs-in-a-year(OYB is also formerly known as OSM)

Attended class monitress Song's WD last sat..i had bugged her endlessly(who's going? got 4/1 pple? how many? Wei not counted hor) to ensure i won't the only one from 4/1 going..i absolutely hate attending WDs where i know the grand total of ONE pax, which is the groom/bride(in fact i shall make it my new year resolution tat i'll not attend such WDs anymore)

It started off as a typical WD..'registered' myself and paid my share for the WD(Why are WDs so ex anyway? It's definitely not the food..what am i paying for?? The beer so tat uncles can yum seng all night?) Din spot any familar faces so tried to while time away looking at the photo albums..heaved a sigh of relief when 2 classmates appeared..we quickly congregated and huddled together..trying to conceive a plan to 'steal' the cocktail nuts from the next table...another grouse about WDs - Why do they always have to start so late? Its not healthy to eat a calories-laden dinner at 9pm..tsk..

That said, i must say this is one of the few WDs that i truly enjoyed myself..mostly cos we(4/1) had the whole table to ourselves(the two mysterious 'gym frens' were MIA) and the moment we seated ourselves down, it morphed into a class gathering..

There were 8 of us, which i think is a good size for a typical table..10 pax is always a little too squeezy..esp when you have unknowns at your table..and you feel very paiseh to reach out for more food just in case u elbow them in the face or something..

There were a few revelations tat nite...

#1 Song can drink..AND drinks like a fish(according to classmate-cum-cousin Wei)

#2 Wei's exciting 'discovery' at the end of the dinner that 'hey, we can use this wedding gift as a luggage tag!'(my dear fren, we realised tat the moment we sat down at the table ya..)

#3 And the most exciting of all(to me, at least) Yun, my dear neighbour(though a good 10cm shorter than me, she was transferred to the back of the classroom to sit next to me..apparently to 'influence' me..Yun was sorta the model student back then) doesn't like mushrooms either! She finds them nuah, disgusting, gross, unappealing, off-putting...wat can i say? Great minds think alike!

What happened 2 months and 9 days ago..

Sorting my photos after the longest time..was kinda forced into it cos i needed my camera for work-purposes and my memory card was full..Yes, somehow my life kinda revolves around work now..i dunno why and when it started..but i was kinda taken aback when 2 people commented 'you're becoming a workaholic' on 2 separate occasions..

Anyway..on the 21 Sep 08, a 'significant' incident happened..not as life-changing as THE incident..but still enough to get frens getting concerned and asking 'What happened to u??'..again..

Target/Quarterly Review

'3 months..a quarter of a year..What have i achieved?'

I realised i left my previous blog(dated 28 Aug) uncompleted..unpublished..I forgot why this is so..but probably i got myself into a writer's dead-end..by asking 'What have i achieved?'

Since when have i set goals for myself?! Not since PSLE days when i set to 'achieve' 1 a-star(which i did)..next milestone was probably the 'O's..which i knew as early as before the leadup to the prelim exams that i had not put in enough efforts for the past year to achieve 'wat-my-maximum-potential-had-been-if-i-had-put-in-maximum-effort'

Come to think of it..why do people set targets to achieve? Goals like earning a million before 35 or even getting married before 35..buying a car before 35..Whether u can earn a million or not..it's something you can calculate - either you can or you can't(unlike your avenue includes striking the lottery)..getting married is another stupid goal..be it setting a timeline to get hitched or telling your partner let's get married in another 2 years..it just doesn't make sense to me..

Coming back to the question..Why? Why do people set targets? So you can be happy when you 'achieve' them? But you probably have an idea of your chances of achieving the targets in the first place..right? Ok, take it that you really achieve your goals..so you'll be happy..and then what's next? How long will this joy of achievement last? Set another goal? Worse..what if you don't achieve the goal? Sulk? 'Review' and then try again?

Maybe..just maybe..i really do believe that the process is more important than the end result(achievement) Which is why i'm always more concerned with 'what do i have to do if i want to achieve something?' Is it really worth the effort? But of cos, it could just boil down to the fact that i'm a super nuah person..

In any case..i've just failed to achieve my target of blogging about my head(injury)..see? Tat's why i don't set targets anymore..

p.s. wat a nonsensical post...think my brain still recovering from the shock..

Life's like tat..

Popped by a cosy little viet eatery in bugis area the other day..one of those places which have magazines for patrons to pass time..was flipping through one of the mags when my eyes fell on something very familiar-looking :




********************************************************************************

Was walking to my van at my carpark when i heard 'excuse me' ..there were these 2 ladies who have been washing a car opp my van. The following conversation took place(in mandarin cos they're er..chinese)

The ever-helpful ZXL : Yes, can i help?

Car-washing ladies : Can u help to drive this car to the car-washing bay? (which is 2 lots away) It's very squeezy here and too dark to wash the car..i dunno how to drive and am just helping a friend to wash the car..

The amused ZXL : Err..ok..but what about after you washed the car? I'm going off in a while..

Car-washing ladies : Then we'll just leave the car there!

The 'summon-expert' ZXL : But u can't park there, u'll kena summon!

Car-washing ladies : Then we'll just get someone else to park the car when we're done washing!

The even-more-amused ZXL : er..ok lor..

*********************************************************************************************************************************

Met junior after the looooongest time..4, 5 years? Still look the same i must say(both me and her) Filled each other in on the past few years of our lives over a 'drink-forever-also-haven-finish' banana milkshake last week..

Her life has been..in a way, very 'predictable'..which was exactly how i imagined it to be..graduate from uni with an accountancy degree..work in a big 4..be an accountant..

My life..is..in her words..'wahh..so exciting hor! Travel, work in theme park, setting up own company'..(yes, as well as trying to make ends on a measly pay each month)

On a whim, we decided to go cycling..at 830pm on a sat nite(as if i didn't have enough of cycling)..one thing tat didn't change after all these years - we still do the stupid-est, boliao-est things when we're together..

Junior went on to lament that her life is so boring as compared to mine and her brother's(he who gave up a high-flying finance career to be a counsellor/teacher) She wanted to do something else..something different..something tat's 'jaw-dropping'..indeed, in the 15 years i know her, she's never done anything really jaw-dropping..And then, she casually mentioned: 'i wanna open a yong tau foo stall'

Wow! Indeed..to hear tat coming from her is jaw-dropping enough..of cos, immediately i tried to convince her how i can be her best yong tau foo seller..having accumulated years of experience as a yong tau foo-eater..

So..the next time u see me helping out at a yong tau foo stall..contain ur jaw..

******************************************************************************

Was lunching the other day with a colleague at a hawker centre..when my colleague spotted a fren and started chatting away..while i continued chomping away on my fishball noodles..when i felt a pinch on my arms *ouch* i looked up to see my long-time-no-see uni fren..who happened to be the wife of the fren..so 'qiao'..

Haven seen her in years too..still look very much like the hello kitty(the cat with no mouth) fan she was back then..although she has since switched allegiance to miffy(the rabbit with a 'X' for a mouth)..

Seems like this is the season for finding back long lost frens..

Things I've done/experienced since the last update :

• Buttache for the 2 ang mohs i played host to, who spent the past 12 months cycling from UK to Singapore

• Heartache when i hear a Sec 1 NT student pointing out to me ITE and saying that's where she'll end up in 5 years' time cos she doesn't think she'll be able to go anywhere else(what is wrong with the sch system here?)

• Heart stopped for 2 secs when i realised a student had fallen into a drain..together with her bike(thank goodness she only suffered minor abrasions)

• Called for ambulance after witnessing a cyclist(and her pillion rider) somersauting over a kerb onto the middle of the road(separate incident from above)

• Quarrelled with a bus driver who kept insisting on calling the police, just cos my van is a little bit in his way(related to above incident)

• Signed on a mobile phone contract(i've always been contract-less ever since my first contract expired n years ago)

Soo exciting hor..my life..

Ketcho blog..(cont'd)

Attended Jeff Chang's concert last weekend, for those who know me long enuf, i'm a fan of him..for the longest time..

Before i rave about his voice..let me kao beh about the venue first..It was the 6th concert of his that i've attended, all of which were held at SIS previously..this was the first time it was held at the bird-dun-lay-egg-exhibition hall-diguised-as-a-concert hall..

I had paid good money, some $130 of it(which was the second most ex)..and i expect a decent seat with a decent view, complete with decent sound system..turned out the seat was the kind of chair that you find at a chinese restaurant(and i'm not talking about tung loks), no arm rest, not much cushioning..and the seats were on level ground, which meant all i can see most of the time is the head directly in front of me! And the sound system is just of acceptable standard..Oh, and did i mention i spent 15mins queuing to get in the carpark and another 15mins trying to park? In the end, i just parked at an empty spot, which wasn't even a lot, mind you..I'm still upset 2 weeks later..

Anyway..when the concert started, when his first notes floated across the hall..all freyed nerves were soothed..and i was transported back some 10 years ago..when he was THE pop star of the moment, when his songs can be heard on the radio every now & then..

But..when i caught the first glimpse of him(rem i can only see the head in front of me?), my jaws dropped slightly..tat was a err..erm, interesting hairstyle..

Nevertheless, he was always one to deliver 'ting jue' rather than 'shi jue'..and soon again, i was lost in his ballads..

Life, 17th Mar 2008

Jeff Chang's artful ways

'What followed was not your typical Chinese pop concert. As Chang delivered his love ballads, masterpieces from canonical Western art were shown, from Bottiecelli's The Birth of Venus down to Edvard Munch's The Scream.

Still, all of the staging and production would have been for nought if Chang had not delivered as a singer.

And deliver he did as the prince of ballads dug into hig big bag of hits and pulled out one familiar favourite after another, including Bie Pa Wo Shang Xin and Ai Ru Chao Shui.

Apart from a moment or two of strain, he showed excellent control over his pristine tenor pipes over the 2.5 hours show.

His heyday might have been in the 1990s but he still has his fans. The 7000 capacity crowd comprised those in their 20s and 30s(yep, i think i fit the 'profile')

He might not have the most electrifying stage presence and he might not have the slick dance moves, but he nevertheless fashioned an entertainming show from the unlikely combination of Chinese pop and high art.

You could also read the presentation as Chang making a case for his songs as art. Before each number, the title was displayed and the composer and lyricist duly credited.

You might not agree, but there's no denying that the crooner has accumulated an impressive body of well-loved classics over two decades.

And that's no small achievement.'

Ketchup Blog..

Time to catch up..on my sleep..my life..oh, and my blog too..

Had a pretty packed week: day rides, nite rides, recces, meetings, courses..if i were to get paid for every hour i 'worked', i'd have earned enough for a month in this week alone..but alas, i'm a self-employed which does not enjoy such 'luxuries'..

Think my weariness showed on my face when a colleague remarked 'u look very tired hor?'

Took 2 days to recover from an overnight event..think age is coming up on me too..

H B Wei!

As per past 2 years' tradition..i shall wish my long-time pal, Wei happy birthday thru my blog..so..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAL!

Still on the topic Passion vs Money..

Met a sch mate(more specifically, brother of a fren) recently..First time we met ever since leaving school some 10 years ago..

He was of the 'model student' calibre..good in studies, good in sports. Was expecting him to be a high-flyer by now(coming from a family of accountants - the sister is currently working as one, as expected). From our chat, it turned out that he did start out doing auditing for a couple of years and switched to finance for a year but found that he didn't 'see the point' and found his well-paying job 'meaning-less'.

He went on to a VWO to do youth development work(which is how we met) and was much happier there and slowly he found his 'calling' - to be a teacher and has since signed on to be a teacher - enrolling in NIE this coming July..

Another supporting case for my 'Declining Scale' theory..

It's been quite a long while since i really sat down and blocked..wtf, i mean blogged..think i really got a writer's block..after the knock..(i kok my head yest, damn pain siah!)

After reading the article on introverts..i can safely say, yes I belong to the 'strong, silent' type..Maybe tat explains the lack of blogs these days..i think by thinking, not talking nor blogging..and so the thoughts remained in my head..

Had kopi(or teh for me - which explains why i'm still so alert at 1055pm) with 2 frens today. She, of my age and recently quit her job and he, graduating in 4 months' time and starting his search for his first job.

Which is more important in one's job? Passion or Money? And we came out with 2 theories, ceteris paribus(i never thot i'll ever use this term again since i left sch!)

The 50-50 theory : Equal weightage to both; Passion so that you won't dread working and hopefully you can stay long(dare i say life-long?) in the job? Money so that you can pay off watever debts(sch loans!) and save lotsa money and hopefully retire early so that you can pursue your passion?

In other words, no conclusion, go toss coin

The declining scale theory : Start with 90% money 10% passion(too cruel to do a job with 0% passion)..then with every job change, lower the percentage for money and up the percentage for passion.

In other words, quit after 5-6 years when the % for money decreases, not necessarily replaced by passion but a new factor 'xian-ness'(as suggested by anecdotal evidence)

Not exactly scientific..but definitely relevant..

'Hush is the word' - ST, 26th Jan 08

As edited by ZXL :

We hear a great deal about freedom of speech but what about freedom of silence?

As The Atlantic corresponent Jonathan Rauch says, 'As an introvert, I belong to one of the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.'

Being introverted does not necessarily mean being shy; it just means that people tire you out. While extroverts need company like the Energizer Bunny needs batteries, introverts recharge by spending time alone.

But Rauch makes it clear that introverts don't harbour a grudge against the rest of the human race: 'We love people..We just can't socialise with them all the time. We want to hold their hand or hug them or just sit quietly and read a book with them.'(Or in my case, just read my blog..)

What introverts don't want to do is go to parties and make small talk.

But the world is filled with people who do - and they set the standard for what is considered normal and desirable behaviour. Some introverts learn to keep up with a stream of conversation but those who can't or won't tend to be labelled as shy, aloof or arrogant.

Rauch notes that female introverts have a harder time because people don't usually think of women when you say 'strong, silent type'

It's not that introverts have no personality, it's just at the other side of the spectrum whereby somebody who can break into Elvis impersonation at the drop of a hat.

According to Rauch, if introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place. In a world run by introverts, no meeting would last over an hour because they don't think by talking; they think by thinking.

Rauch recommends helping extroverts to be comfortable with their opposites. It can be hard to relax with another person when silences keep breaking up a conversation. But not if you understand that 'if someone is being quiet it doesn't mean they're having a bad time; it doesn't mean they're lonely or need psychiatric help or medication'.

If you're an extrovert, be confident that the introvert next to you is enjoying your company. If he isn't, don't worry about it. It's not like he's going to tell you.

So, it's time to raise some awareness. Start by sending this article to 25 people within the next 3 days. Failure to do so will mean being trapped at 75 parties where people won't stop talking to you.

The debate continues(sort of)..and then it turns to goat's milk..

RQ : colleague and I just discussed a problem. Without going into details, suffice to say that the gist of it is whether you would extend yourself to make life easy for someone else while at the same time running the risk of being held responsible if
the extension doesn't work out. I said no, no point. Just do things in normal mode.She probably thinks I'm nasty...haha...=P I wondered if this reaction is schooled by experience? Hmm...if I were a freshie, would I have reacted differently?

Sam : On the scenario u mentioned - Depends on what you wish to achieve. If u make life easier for most people thereby translating into effficiency and increased productivity for the organisation, yeah why not? U doing a good thing. But yeah, this day and age, we typically not so selfless. Everything at work is done with an agenda in mind.. hahah... simply because we don't have the free bandwidth to help anyone else except ourselves.

u see.. the worst kind of predicament u can be in is u worked hard and others are climbing up at the expense of your hardwork. : ) I told myself I will not let that happen to me (anymore). U compare ard, there are those who are just good at talking n not doing and they get far... haha.. strange world. So if u indeed wanna excel and get the accolades from your peers, I believe the hard work cannot be obliterated. Btw, this morning I switched to goats' milk - erm.. almost puke. The smell v v strong. I had to gulp one mouthful, then swallow another mouthful of water. :P had to down a fisherman thereafter.. yicks.. how how? 3/4 more litre to go!

RQ : I dunno, more of like I'm simply tired of doing stuff like that...hmm...I don't really chap if pple climb using my work, cos I know I answer to someone else. Interesting, I think I should go figure out why I'm like that...=) hey, where are you getting goat's milk from? I can get fresh for you if you like, the farm quite near my place.

ZXL : Erm..ya, the goat's milk i tried wasn't tat bad..they come in choc flavour too..

The workaholic vs the workaholic

Below is an extract of an actual email exchange(unedited to retain the flavour) between 2 of my frens(i'm more of a onlooker)

Qi : i raise 2 hands and 2 feet to support you. don't be a slave to work, get off on time daily. If your work doesn't allow you to, then either improve your efficiency or reduce the workload. Life is so much more than work...

Sam : Easy to comment on that. They pay u salary for a reason. : ) U wanna get ahead, u also need to throw in effort. That's life. So something's gotta give, and it all depends on your priority.

Qi : haha...that's why zxl and i are...super slackers? =P yup, it all depends on your priority...but remember that at one's deathbed, no one ever regrets not spending one more day in the office...I think...

ZXL : wah...tat sounds very 'me'..ha..but if u're a super slacker...i dunno wat i am..haha

Qi : u are...err...champion slacker? *grin*...no choice lah, our choice of profession v different mah, but now that I in civil service, can be like that lor...hee...did I ever tell you guys that my very first appraisal in singapore I kenna told off by my boss for leaving office on time every day? =))

Sam : haha.. u 2 dun fight to be super slackers ok. : ) definitely on death bed won't think abt work.. : ) But ur boss is so strange?! old firm or this one? I only scold and warn people when they dun come in on time, but never when they leave on time, unless they are late and need to make up.

Qi : no fight, hats off to zxl, she more champion than me...hee...old firm. I told him that I don't see the need to stay late if I can complete my work within the alloted time. Anyway at that time I see a lot of colleagues staying late for the sake of staying late, just to impress boss kind. I think that's silly, refused to follow suit. Hee, prob boss buay tahan me...

Sam : U shld have told ur boss off : ) Tell him... err.. throw me more work? :P Once a partner asked an ex collaegue of yc why he is working late, he got a reply - 'doing work lah. I don't do u do is it?' have to give it to him :P But of cos having said that and being a slave driver myself, just circumstance, as much as I'd like to do less work, first the demand must be less than I can supply less. I'm resigned to fate this is the problem - demand more than supply.

Qi : hyuk, here's where I throw the problem back to management: demand > supply? increase supply, else accept a slower rate of completion. Can't have your cake and eat it too cos I'm not gonna do OT FOC man....not if I can help it anyway...

Sam : u so gungho... usually the throw back at mgmt, when that happens means when
we quit. : ) Have to be realistic. With proper planning, most things can do one. Just
pass me resources, think can manage. But with more resources, bottomline we receive also becomes thinner. (read: B) The problem is poor mgmt or a lousy boss. U ask me to treat the root of issue? Fire them, get the next better player. Hmm..interesting debate.

Qi : no debate lah, sometimes I know it's shen1 bu4 you2 ji3, but sometimes it really does boil down to how you want to conduct your life. Just hope i'm wise enough to do the right thing whenever I'm confronted with such decisions...=)

Sam : yup.. quite a fruitless debate? It's the kind with no answers.

ZXL : true lah..there's no right or wrong..more of 'the norm'(ie. climb the corporate ladder) and the 'path less taken'(take things easy at the expense of material gains)

080108

Writer's Block - Facing one these days..it's not tat i want to neglect my blog or i'm lazy to blog..a couple of times, i logged in to my site and after i clicked on 'new post', my fingers received no instructions from the brain and thus remained still on the keyboard..

Facebook - Or maybe my brain has gone soft on me now that there's facebook to occupy my online time..just go in and click..Buy people beer - click. Send someone flowers - click. Very easy..very no-brainer..

Long-time-no-see-no-hear-frens - Found a few thru facebook..or rather, they found me..probably cos my name didn't change(a couple of them added ang moh names, so i was totally clueless as to who they are) and my face remained the more or less the same(another few who totally looked nothing like how i knew them waaaay back - some claimed it's the makeup, others said it's due to DI..others gave no excuse - 'put on over the years lor')